Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Living Reflection of a Dream

I've resumed my studies after having two months off and quite honestly, though stress will always be present with the work load, I am glad to be back. Things are a little different now. It is strange coming back to the same campus, classrooms and classmates as a changed person. It almost feels like I've gone way back to my days at art school as a school leaver, completely on my own and unknowing of what will come next. For the past few years my future plans had been formed, shaped and set around another person. Before me now lies a blank slate. Like a teen aged Eleanor Rigby, I don't really know what will come next but I do know now that I have the power to make what I like of it.

I've been trying to keep busy lately. I'm a person that is attached so deeply to their thoughts and so naturally these can consume me from time to time. Keeping myself busy helps me to live in the immediate and focus on what is right in front of me. I've been cooking (those who know me well will understand that this is something trying for me!), giving myself more complex songs to learn on guitar, spending more time with my family and sorting through my possessions. It's been very refreshing and helps to instantly lift the weight off my shoulders when things become too stressful. I'm hoping that focusing on my studies will have the same effect.

What are some things that you do to keep busy?
I'd love to try something new. 

Tuesday, June 9, 2015


You may or may not have noticed that I have been completely absent from the blogging world for the past three months. You also may or may not have noticed a particular post that I made on my original tumblr, The Carnabetian Army, announcing my blogger's 'retirement'. The truth is: things in my life have been very hard lately. And really, it's okay to admit that. 

Life will always surprise us no matter how much we plan and prepare for the future. What is important is that we don't let ourselves become completely submerged in the depths of despair when change comes our way, which can sometimes be so easy. We must always try our best to keep our heads above the water for it is here that we can see clearer into the distance with open eyes. It is here that we can feel oxygen flowing through us with each breath - a recurrent reminder that we are alive and in tune with the world. It is here that we can take control of ourselves and begin swimming towards the shore. 
In my absence I have been submerged. From barely treading water I sank and have been frozen beneath the weight of death, loss and heartbreak. In the depths I have lost clear vision of myself and the world that surrounds me. The person that I used to be seems like a distant echo calling to me from an unknown place and travelling helplessly through the cold. But it is now that I realize that I have a choice here. Do I grasp my way through the water in attempt to seek out the owner of the distant voice? Or do I look to the light and resurface? I think that it is time for me to take a breath.

I aim to start blogging again as a way to explore myself and who I am. I am hoping that it will help me in my journey to the surface, and eventually the shores that I desire. Things may seem quite different here in comparison to what you may have seen in the past, but another thing that we all must also accept is that it is okay for us to change. Why cage ourselves within a previous form? Embrace your freedom to change. Embrace your freedom to become the person that you want to be. 

I'd like to thank all the people who have kept me in their thoughts for their continued support. Knowing that there are others experiencing the same hardships or sending their wishes across the seas is such a beautiful reminder that even though sometimes it may feel like it, we are not completely alone. I send my love and best wishes to you all. Take care of yourselves and keep swimming. 

Thursday, March 12, 2015

Eleanor Rigby

As change continues to plague my life, I've been forced to take a look back into the past. I pick up the antique mirror that sits on my vanity, greened with oxidation and tarnished with age, and peer through the fogged glass. I can just see her, only just: a girl that I had once likened to Eleanor Rigby.

She would always wander alone, be it through the town's empty cemetery on the hill or the long desolate roads of the rural highways; the solitary sound of her heels clicking with each step she took her only company. Often she'd carry a hand drawn map in her hand. She'd clutch it tightly as she ventured far away to new places she'd never been to as if it were some token to guarantee her safety or perhaps more so some chance ticket to a place where the grass would be greener and the sun would shine brighter. In days like these I wish that I had a map of these sorts to lead me through the unknown. But I don't. And so, instead of blindly pursuing a hidden path in the dark I look back to the days of Eleanor Rigby and retrace her steps - hoping again that I may find the greener grass and the brighter sun that I wished for so many years ago. 

Friday, March 6, 2015

J'adore Adore Me Lingerie

When I was younger lingerie was something that I admittedly had mixed feelings about. I loved  the feminine designs, prints and fabrics but I felt that it was something reserved for a specific coterie of people with model worthy measurements and vibrant relationships. Now that I've grown older and have become more comfortable in my own skin I've come to understand how good lingerie can be for body confidence. 

I believe that wearing lingerie should first and foremost be for yourself. When choosing out a set and putting it on you are provided with an opportunity to embrace your femininity and love your body for exactly how it is. It's okay to feel confident about yourself when looking in the mirror and it's okay to wear something that makes you feel fabulous underneath your clothing, whether anyone else see it or not! We all deserve self love. 

Adore Me Lingerie is a New York lingerie brand that believes that lingerie shouldn't be reserved for special occasions. It should be something to boost women's confidence in their everyday lives and make them feel feminine, fabulous and comfortable. They aim to produce great fitting designs that are not only quality but also affordable for the average woman. They produce their sets quite flexibly in sizes that range from 32A to 42G and they have a large series of styles to choose from to suit your individual preference. 

For most of my lovely lady readers Spring time is at last on the way. Adore Me have just released their new Spring 2015 collection and goodness I really think it is just lovely. The collection is filled with lovely and lacey pastel sets with ornate embroidery and pretty detailing such as satin finishes and lace scalloped edging. I adore the bright colours and romantic designs. It's not often you see happy daisy yellow or mint green lingerie!

I was also surprised by the below grey set. Usually I'm not at all drawn to grey hued lingerie but this particular set is so pretty with the lace detailing and subtle baby blue accents. I also love the balconette style. 

This set is perhaps my favourite of the new collection. It has a very romantic and feminine style and the colours remind me of something you may see on the dress of a pretty little china doll. Very dainty and very delicate. 

Adore Me Lingerie also stock swimwear and sleepwear in a variety of styles.
Do check out their website if your wish, you may find something you like. 
If not, I hope that you at least enjoyed the pretty spring time pictures - I certainly did!

This is not a sponsored post. All opinions are my own.